Standing By

A post I began last Friday, and just got around to finishing up:

   

     This morning, after hearing school was cancelled because of an ice storm, I sat down at my desk, in warm jammies, with a hot cup of coffee, excited to begin studying Ezekiel.  (sidebar:  I don't know if there's a limit on how many prepositional phrases are allowed in one sentence, but I'm pretty sure I just karate chopped that rule with that one.  Anyway…)  (Wait.  Another sidebar:  I was only half-excited.  The prophets scare me.  There.  I said it.  I struggle to grasp and hang on to everything in them.  With that being said…)

     I started in Ezekiel 1:1 (duh), and literally never made it past that verse.  It wasn't my normal start and stop, start and stop, start and stop confusion that left me there, though.  God used the three words, "among the captives", as a sort of balm to my hurt.  Amazing, how three words can take up so much time, have so much meaning, and make life seem a little more faceable.  Faceable…is that a word?  I don't think it is, but I think you're pickin' up what I'm puttin' down. 

     There are times in life when we feel captive.  Feeling captivated is wonderful, but feeling captive is another, entirely.  Can much come of captivity?  In Ezekiel's case, the heavens were opened and he saw visions of God he would have missed in Israel.  He and Daniel (& Jonah, in Nineveh) were the only prophets of the Old Testament who lived and prophesied anywhere but in Israel.  That seems significant to me.  You'll never convince me that God intends for us to live a life of captivity, but I am equally convinced that He can use it to our advantage…and more importantly, to the advantage of others.  Here, by this river in Babylon, Ezekiel sat down and saw visions of God.  I wonder if he would have missed the opportunity back in Israel.  I wonder if he would have slowed his service long enough to hear what God had to say.  I wonder how much like Ezekiel I have been. 

     There's no point in wasting time pretending that if God allows us to be "sifted", there's not something that needs sifted.  Israel's captivity was the reaping of sins they had sown, and Ezekiel was there to call them to repentance…and to repent, himself.  What a loving Savior to visit our "captivity" with "visions" of judgement…and then, of forgiveness and restoration!  He may seem to be in the shadows…but be sure that He is standing by.  Our harps may be hanged…but they're not hidden from our sight…or His.  The song is still the Lord's!

"But when the children of Israel cried unto the LORD, the LORD

raised them up a deliverer…" Judges 3:15

Brethren, Pray For Us

     I haven't the time for writing today.  School clothes need picked out, laundry needs put away, lesson plans need reviewed, and on and on and on.  As much as I would like to say some deep life lesson has placed me at the laptop this evening, I'm sitting here wondering how on earth some people could be so cruel - how others could be so clueless - and how the enemy knows just how to send them to kick you when you're down.  I simply had to stop and ask for your prayer.

      Let's be honest.  There are times when God, Who is "our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble" doesn't feel very present...and strength is the very last thing we seem to possess.  Refuge seems like a thing of the past in these times.  Everything feels exposed and vulnerable, and we're left feeling like outsiders looking in.  I hate those times.  I hate this time that I'm in.   

     People keep telling me I'll look back and realize some great victory came of it all.  As much as I appreciate their words of encouragement, I'm just not sure they're right.  Sometimes, there's only loss and pain.  It's just the world we live in.  If you're staring down your nose at this critically, you just haven't been where I am.  I won't hold that against you.  I hope you're never here, friend.  I really mean that. 

     Several weeks ago, Clark and I made the most difficult decision we have ever had to make.  Instead of feeling like a death, it has felt like a hundred deaths…none so grievous as the ministry we loved and cherished.  I have never been more proud of my husband for his integrity and spiritual leading in the matter. The grief of it all hasn't made us doubt God's command in the matter.   But, no matter how sure I am that it was the right decision, the grief simply seems unbearable right now.  I am thankful to know He is leading, but we're still searching the valley for green pastures and still waters.  I am asking you as friends to pray for us.  We have no axe to grind.  We just want to heal.  Our love for our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ has only grown in the absence, and now, more than ever, we pray they are blessed.

"I'm not driven down this path I trod. 
I follow Him by choice.

I don't need to see the way ahead. 
I only need to hear the Shepherd's voice."

"Brethren, pray for us."  I Thessalonians 5:25