This morning, I read over last year's "Resolution"
blog.(http://thedaringlife.blogspot.com/2013/01/resolution.html)
As expected, my heart ached at the memory of
that time. I found myself counting the
failures again and felt the old familiar heartache of hopes deferred and
friendships lost. And, then, the Holy
Spirit, in His kindness, convicted me so deeply. It seems strange to call conviction a
kindness, but there is nothing so kind as the reminder that He is
present…hearing every prayer and knowing every thought of my heart. As clearly as He has ever spoken to my heart,
He reminded me of His presence and work in every single situation that
transpired throughout this past year and that every single bit of it was an
answer to my own prayer. The prayer to
be more transparent – undoubtedly every ugly and vulnerable thing was
exposed. The prayer to stand – Only by
His grace was I able to withstand the heartache. The prayer to serve – It was how I
survived. The prayer to change – Oh my
word! So much change!
He answered every single prayer and has
spent the last few days showing me that I have wasted so much time focusing on
what I have lost versus what He has given.
I'll honestly admit, friends, that nearly every bit of my energy this
year was spent on surviving. It was my
focus…just survive, keep your head above water, Laura… Clark's ministry needs
you, your children need you, your testimony is based on whether you make it
through this, or not. I know we all go
through "surviving times", and dreams of a life without difficulty
are a waste of time and energy, but I am ready to move out of survival
mode. God's blessings are not made to be
survived.
With that being said, I simply resolve to
thrive…to praise Him for His presence and power in my life, to be that tree
whose roots, though exposed, exist for the sole purpose of reaching the water,
knowing my God created me to flourish.
"And
all the trees of the field shall know that I the LORD have brought down the
high tree, have exalted the low tree, have dried up the green tree, and have
made the dry tree to flourish: I the LORD have spoken and have done it."
Ezekiel 17:24
