Unity's Advance

     I have been doing an in-depth study of the Book of Esther, written and taught by Beth Moore.  I love it beyond words!  It would literally be impossible to share with you the innumerable truths and the many personal realities I’ve had to face in just these few short weeks.  If I had to sum up what I think is the whole gist of this amazing book, I would have to say it must be God’s providence.  And, truly, He has been providential is putting me in this Bible study at this exact time in my life.  Every lesson seems to resonate with me and open my eyes to what He is doing in my life.  The similarities seem astounding!  Don’t get me wrong!  Am I a young, beautiful virgin who has been carted off to the palace and crowned queen?  Umm…no.  And will I stand before the king of Persia, point my finger in the face of his most trusted adviser, call his hand at evil, and ultimately thwart the annihilation of my family and my entire race.  Since I’m a stay-at-home mom and feel pressured just placing my order at Dairy Queen, I sort of doubt it.  Even still, the principles apply to all of us and, even though I sadly see more of myself in the foolish king Xerxes and even the cruel Haman, my heart longs to someday possess a submissively strong spirit like Esther’s.

     While reading about Haman plotting against the Jews in chapter three, Beth Moore points out that though Haman presents many lies against the Jews, he supplies one truth about them.  (Isn’t that just like Satan?)  It was indeed a fact that they were “…scattered abroad and dispersed among the people…”  Beth Moore then adds that, “So much so, in fact, that they lacked the solidarity to be the threat Haman painted them to be.  Ironically, the edict would be the very thing to catapult them into the unification they severely lacked.”  That’s a sobering thought, isn’t it?  Since I read that, I’ve sat at my desk wondering what “edict” it will take to bring today’s church into unity. 

     What will it be that causes us to ultimately be forced to lay down arms among ourselves?  If a football team tackles one another the whole time they’re on the sidelines, they’re probably going to be pretty exhausted when it’s time to take the field, and they certainly will not step onto the field with reliance on one another.  Most likely, they’ll be a laughing stock to the other team and a disgrace to the school or community they were chosen and trained to represent. 

     My godson, Levi, was injured this past week playing football.  His greatest pain isn’t the result of physical injury, but the pain of watching his team take the field without him for the rest of the season...seeing them advance without him.  Being told to “sit this one out” hurts, doesn’t it?  We all go through times in life where we feel like we’ve been benched and can’t understand why.  It may be that God sees a scar that needs more time to heal, or perhaps He sees a quality in us that we would never discover without some “down time”.  You can be sure He sees more in us than we see in ourselves!   The time-outs of life are much more bearable when we focus our attention on others and how we can help them.  The sidelines are where we can learn to give selflessly.  Levi won’t be making tackles in the coming weeks, but he will be cheering on his teammates and letting them know that their effort is as important as his.  That’s what character does, and I would be as proud seeing him be a team player on the sidelines as in the end zone.  In actuality, he won’t be sitting out at all, will he? 

     I have lived a long time worried about my contribution to “the game”.  Only recently has God helped me realize that the ministry is His.  It is not mine at all.  My vision of "ideal ministry" pales to God's very real desire and possibility.  I sincerely believe that if we will all make Jesus and unity with His people our heart’s desire, God will take care of any threat to His work, and He will be glorified in every circumstance of our lives.   People moving in unity moves the heart of God.  He cannot resist coming into the midst of brothers and sisters unified in His Name. The Bible is full of breathtaking acts of God among unified believers...the greatest being that He simply showed up.  The God of Heaven was among them!  Win or lose, the fight is infinitely more manageable when we know God is present. 

     I am so anxious to see God’s Church advance in unity!  "Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.”   The edict has been penned and published.  Throughout the pages of scripture is a call to lay aside ourselves and look on the things of others.  May we “with gladness and singleness of heart” be used by God to advance the gospel in such a time as this.

“Fulfill ye my joy, that ye be likeminded, having the same love, 

being of one accord, of one mind.”~Philippians 2:2

Every Morning

     “If I nurture the newness while I have it, perhaps, I won't lose it — at least not for something less. And if I nurture what I keep, perhaps, I won't miss what I have lost.”  I’m not sure in what context these words were written by Jan Denise, but when I came across them today, a familiar ache travelled through my heart.  It moved through quickly, since it’s been there often and knows the way like the back of its hand.  In the same way it has so many times before, it left me face down at my desk weeping over opportunities seemingly gone forever and longing for changes that never seem to come.  Even though its journey through is swift, it somehow accurately targets every insecurity and every old wound nearly healed and leaves them gaping open and throbbing again.  But God, in His love, brought these precious promises to mind:   “It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.  They are new every morning:  great is thy faithfulness.”~Lam. 3:22-23 

     We are not consumed.  Even when so much seems lost – when friends walk away, when family makes choices that break our heart, when a dream you’ve longed for from the pit of your soul is granted to someone else without a glace your way, when we feel consumed and no one seems to notice, His promise is that He notices.  That’s His compassion.  The Veggie Tales have a wonderfully simple definition for compassion.  Bob the Tomato puts it this way.  “It’s when you see someone who needs help, and you wanna help ‘em.”  Compassion goes beyond seeing the need to actually finding a way to help...because you want to.  Our compassion simply may not be enough sometimes, but God’s compassions never fail. 

     The even better thought is that His compassions come with mercies, and they’re “new every morning”.  That’s wonderful news considering “thou knowest not what a day may bring forth.”  How amazing to think that He knows and is there with just what I need every morning!  It takes a very faithful God to see to me every morning!  He never cancels a breakfast date, and even when He knows I will, He stops by in the still hours of the morning and gives me what He knows I’ll need for the day.  Isn’t His faithfulness great?

     So, does this magically cure my sadness over the “lost” things of life or remove the fear of losing the wonderful newness of a closer walk with Christ?  Oh, how I wish I could say it does, but today was a stark reminder that I’m still human and hope deferred still makes the heart sick.  The truth is that I’ve probably not had my last cry of the evening, but I know that sometime in the wee hours of night, He’ll tiptoe in to check on me and leave compassion and mercy enough to face tomorrow.

“…weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.” ~ Psalm 30:5

Droppin' Rocks

     Sometime in the past week or so, I was reading the account of the woman caught in adultery in the Book of John, and since then, my mind keeps wondering back to one verse.  John 8:9  "And they which heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst."  That's not the "popular" verse from the account.  Doubtless, we've all heard and maybe even quoted the portion of verse 7, or something along the same lines..."He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her."  We love that verse, don't we?  We should love it.  It's where Jesus, more or less, says, "Even at your best...you're not the best."  It's like the little fortune cookie paper that we stick in our pocket and pull out when we mess up and feel judged.  It's our scapegoat, and sadly, our stone we throw back in the faces of our accusers.  
     But back to verse 9.  John says here, that after they were convicted by their own conscience, they "went out one by one, beginning at the eldest..."  Those last four words have resounded in my mind for over a week now.  "...beginning at the eldest..."  Imagine the scene with me.  Can you smell the dirt and feel the heat of the sun beating down and the sweat beads gathering on your brow?  I can.  Can you feel your heart pound and your stomach twist?  I can.  Can you picture the mob?  I can.  But, don't stop there.  Can you picture yourself among the mob?  Can you feel the weight and roughness of the stone in your hand and it's edges pressing into your palm as you clutch it in disgust at someone else?  Sadly...I can.  I've seen myself there many times, but only recently have I envisioned myself as one of the first to loose my grip on the stone, hear it hit the sand, and walk away.  That sounds proud, but please don't misunderstand me.  I've only been able to picture it that way because of those last four words - "...beginning at the eldest..."  
     You see, everyone in the crowd that day had a conscience.  John tells us that.  They all knew they were imperfect.  But, someone had to be the first to walk away...to loosen the grip on their stone and leave it in the dust at Jesus' feet.  (That's all any of us are anyway, isn't it?  "...for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.")  I think it no coincidence that the first was an "elder".  The longer we live, the more we learn how imperfect we are, and the easier it is to see ourselves in another's accused, dirty, tear-streaked face.  For those of us who have been saved for many years and feel like we've lived a "sheltered" life...it is very sobering.  But it is vital!  We were not created of stone.  That is not where we began!  When you refuse to loosen your grip on something, it begins to grow into you and become a part of you that can only be removed with great pain...you become something God never intended you to be.  We "elders" have learned that the hard way.  Pardon the pun.  Get it?  The hard way?  Stones?  Anyway...
     God wants us to mature spiritually, but He never wants us to forget our beginning.  Do I feel like I've arrived?  Absolutely not!  Every day, my eyes are opening to the many misconceptions I've carried regarding myself, others, and Christ!  And, although it sounds like a contradiction, there's much joy and freedom to be found in realizing you're dust.  And hands are so much easier to lift in praise when they're free of stones! 

Free

    For what it's worth...I'm a rocker.  I love loud music!  I always have.  I think my mother conditioned me when we listened to Carmen back in the day. So...I'm posting a few of my favorite songs to walk (and rock out) to.  Some of you will be surprised.  That's okay.  Surprise is a good thing.  The rest of you that really know me will scratch your heads and wonder why I feel like I have to put a disclaimer on myself.  Here's why:  Life changes, and sometimes you wake up and realize you've been put into a box and labeled.  I'm fine with being labeled, but label me "free".