Droppin' Rocks

     Sometime in the past week or so, I was reading the account of the woman caught in adultery in the Book of John, and since then, my mind keeps wondering back to one verse.  John 8:9  "And they which heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst."  That's not the "popular" verse from the account.  Doubtless, we've all heard and maybe even quoted the portion of verse 7, or something along the same lines..."He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her."  We love that verse, don't we?  We should love it.  It's where Jesus, more or less, says, "Even at your best...you're not the best."  It's like the little fortune cookie paper that we stick in our pocket and pull out when we mess up and feel judged.  It's our scapegoat, and sadly, our stone we throw back in the faces of our accusers.  
     But back to verse 9.  John says here, that after they were convicted by their own conscience, they "went out one by one, beginning at the eldest..."  Those last four words have resounded in my mind for over a week now.  "...beginning at the eldest..."  Imagine the scene with me.  Can you smell the dirt and feel the heat of the sun beating down and the sweat beads gathering on your brow?  I can.  Can you feel your heart pound and your stomach twist?  I can.  Can you picture the mob?  I can.  But, don't stop there.  Can you picture yourself among the mob?  Can you feel the weight and roughness of the stone in your hand and it's edges pressing into your palm as you clutch it in disgust at someone else?  Sadly...I can.  I've seen myself there many times, but only recently have I envisioned myself as one of the first to loose my grip on the stone, hear it hit the sand, and walk away.  That sounds proud, but please don't misunderstand me.  I've only been able to picture it that way because of those last four words - "...beginning at the eldest..."  
     You see, everyone in the crowd that day had a conscience.  John tells us that.  They all knew they were imperfect.  But, someone had to be the first to walk away...to loosen the grip on their stone and leave it in the dust at Jesus' feet.  (That's all any of us are anyway, isn't it?  "...for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.")  I think it no coincidence that the first was an "elder".  The longer we live, the more we learn how imperfect we are, and the easier it is to see ourselves in another's accused, dirty, tear-streaked face.  For those of us who have been saved for many years and feel like we've lived a "sheltered" life...it is very sobering.  But it is vital!  We were not created of stone.  That is not where we began!  When you refuse to loosen your grip on something, it begins to grow into you and become a part of you that can only be removed with great pain...you become something God never intended you to be.  We "elders" have learned that the hard way.  Pardon the pun.  Get it?  The hard way?  Stones?  Anyway...
     God wants us to mature spiritually, but He never wants us to forget our beginning.  Do I feel like I've arrived?  Absolutely not!  Every day, my eyes are opening to the many misconceptions I've carried regarding myself, others, and Christ!  And, although it sounds like a contradiction, there's much joy and freedom to be found in realizing you're dust.  And hands are so much easier to lift in praise when they're free of stones!