Was I Love?

“Sometimes I think…
What will people say of me,
When I'm only just a memory,
When I'm home where my soul belongs?
Was I love
When no one else would show up?
Was I Jesus to the least of us?
Was my worship more than just a song?”

Sidewalk Prophets

    

     I was fortunate to spend much of today with a friend.  Our discussions flowed much like my own thoughts, ranging from sharing burdens of the heart to my complaint of how my fingers smelled like pennies after digging through my purse for toll money.  (I can’t stand that!)  The thought that has lingered most from our conversations has been one of the testimonies of a few fellow friends.  Their testimony is one of simplicity, yet has a most profound impact, and I’m left examining myself for the smallest spec of similarity.  They are Christ-like.  They’re the kind of people you love, and when you leave their presence, you feel somehow better and favored to have made their acquaintance.  Their similarities to Christ are so strong you can’t help but think of your time with them and smile, and something about it makes you feel like you have spent time alone with Christ Himself.  At times, their smile or word of encouragement catches you off guard, and you wonder if you had told them what you had been feeling…then forgot you told them.  (Not that I ever do that.)  Other times, their text or email comes at such a precise time, you know they listen intently and follow every leading of the Holy Spirit.  By the way…my friend is that way.  I’m so very thankful for her friendship and (sometimes brutal) honesty.

     Another thing we discussed was the situation of a loved one facing rejection.  Can anything be so debilitating as rejection?  Could anything be farther from Christ and all He came to be and teach?  Christ stands at the door of the Church saying, “Come,” and we stand at the same door to hand out a list of prerequisites.  Our children quote verses of Scripture and carry years of resentment for being treated contrary to the life those verses proclaim.  I’ve recently read of several young children who believed suicide was the only relief from the terrible pain of rejection.  Can anything be more heartbreaking to the God of Heaven?  Are we teaching our children to be loved or to be love?  Are we raising Christians or critics?  Rejection is inevitable in this world, but God help us to guard against its cruelty ever being administered in the Name of Christ and in the place where His Word is supposed to be the final authority and influence of our lives!  And may we do all we can to heal the wounds it has already inflicted and stop its destructive course!       

     I may never be more than a stay-at-home wife and mother.  The only thing I do this year may be to simply stay happily married and try to raise daughters who act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with God.  Though my heart aches to do a “great thing”, I know that I may only be called to do a few “good things”.  But, my prayer is that God would help me to do whatever He calls me to do with the bold love of Christ and arms as open as His! 

“But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not,

to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.”

Matthew 19:14